JOURNEY

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 19; the nineteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
JOURNEY
  
                           a journey with her.
(based on some true events)


 

                                 This is my usual journey now, the usual route, the one that I take home from my college. The mode of transport is the one, which I never liked before but now, has become an interesting thing for me. Yeah the train journey, for I get to meet many people and each one of them had a different story to tell.

                 Here it is once again a Saturday afternoon and as usual, I slipped from my classes like an hour and half earlier. There is no time to inform sir as it is 12.35 now and the train is on due by 1pm; well I had to rush and convincing sir is a thing I can handle later. Rushing up to the hostel, kicking and pulling my friend out to make him drop me at the station; packing whatever is possible at the last minute is my usual fun and I never missed it then too.

               Now we are in station on time, hmm some probably five minutes earlier too and it was that one auspicious day maybe that I had booked my ticket earlier. We grabbed in a quick cup of tea, the one that tastes like warm sweetened water.

                As usual the “Cholan express” bound from Chennai to Trichy via Chidambaram, were I am waiting to get in had not arrived in its promised time. It is late by another twenty minutes. My dear friend bored of waiting there bid good-bye.

              After some 20 minutes, the train pulled in and people were taking the luggage and were rushing towards their respective compartment. It was not particularly crowded that day and only very few got in form Chidambaram, most unlikely it was. My coach was S8 and berth is 34, middle berth. There were only four people in the whole block of eight berths there.

             One was an old couple ravishingly enjoying their meal of lemon and curd rice. They were sitting right opposite to me. After offering my wishes, I settled by bags and took a seat. The other passenger with us in that block was a young woman say in mid twenties.

             She was dressed well and she was on her upper berth lying down, an unusual thing for a woman to do. She was dressed a little too glossy and had made herself very well. It was made really well like she was in a party and not on a train journey.

            I could not see her face as she had her face turned to the opposite side. My curiosity as off any other male gender, wanted to see her face somehow. However, to show I am a mannered individual specially to avoid any cursing from the old couples I sat and settled myself down. I was sitting facing the couple and this beautiful woman was lying above in that berth.

           It was a journey of say 3 hours and odd so to kill the boredom I took out a novel that I was reading for a month now and started glancing through the pages.
The first stop for the train is Sirhalzi. As the train was about to continue its journey after its little stop at the station; TT arrived for verifying the tickets. I am the only one who got in here so he checked my tickets and was about to leave.

         He looked at the woman and maybe it is his male curiosity too that he called her “Amma ticket edu ma” (Please show your ticket). There you go she turned her face around and I was just like awestruck.
She is such a beauty, a flawless one. She could have been easily a model in those high funda ads.

        Long black silky hairs waving loosely unto her mid riff, a long face with brown skin, a complexion that of  south Indian woman, beautiful pair of eyes , with eyebrows that is deco-rd further with eyeliners, lips that is little over done with lipstick; everything about her was beautiful. She was dressed in a plain blue silk saree. She looked as if she is trying attracting everyone towards her or as if she is attending a wedding, never like a woman simply travelling in train.

       If only I and not been carrying my own cute little girl in my heart the moment I saw that woman I would have proposed her and asked her will you "marry me"(kidding).
Nevertheless, for me I had already asked that question to another woman and so now, was content sitting in and looking at her.

      Though her whole beauty masked everything, I could not fail to see that sadness in her face. And her eyes were swollen and red showing clearly that she had been crying. It still had some tears in it. Once the TT left, she climbed down carefully as swiftly and elegantly as possible and sat herself just a few cms away from me.

     She hardly noticed me or the old couple sitting nearby. She was just lost in her own thoughts. She took her saree end, covered her head and face nicely and sat there still in her own thoughts. I could not see anywhere else but her face and I could not neglect the tears flowing down that beautiful face.

     By now, the train reached “Vaitheeshwaran Kovil”, its second stop. And here the old couple got down. It is like in movies or some exaggerated romantic novel that I get to travel with a woman like her alone for the next 2 hours. I wanted to ask her why she is crying and say something but I had no courage to do so. The chai wala arrived then and I asked him for a tea. I asked her casually “tea sapduringala?” (Do you want to have a cup of tea?)

    That was the first time she looked up and that is the first time she actually saw me. In a voice that could shatter hearts, she said looking at the chai wala “mm enakum oru tea kudunga” (give me one cup too).

   I offered her some water too once she has done with the tea and I introduced myself “I am raja, I am doing my post graduation in radiology” she didn’t respond anything.

  However, I could not leave there my curiosity would not let me. So I asked,” what is your name?” After some long pause she said, “I am Revathy” She sulked down again into her own thoughts. I couldn’t see her like that and asked, “What is wrong?” Is something there I can do?

“Why do you care?” she asked.

And the conversation progressed like this.

No, I had been observing you since you got in and I could sense some terrible sadness you are carrying.

Why do you care still? My life, it is like this tears and sadness is what it has bestowed me with.

I observed in silence with not a word to speak.

What can you do if I tell you? You are just another one of that selfish male gender. What change can you bring about in my life? Tell me can you?
I did not answer her anything.

After sometime I said, “hey I am good in listening and I believe in spreading goodness through my writings so if you want to share something I am ready to hear. Well I am not sure I can do something or not but definitely, I can hear."

“OK hear this or maybe you know this already and that is why you were approaching. I am not available today and my normal rates are 10000rs for 3hours. You can call me next Wednesday. And whatever you are willing to offer I am not ready to come today OK now leave me“ she said this and went to window side looking down the lane.

It came as a shocker for me. I could not realize what I heard. I am not sure if that is actually what she said or something else. My god is this beautiful woman whom I had been admiring all the way until now  a call girl?
 

    I did not speak a word after that. I moved myself to the side berth, took out that boring novel, and pretended reading. Something in me kept pushing. I just cannot leave her like that.

   The train now reached its third stop Mayavaram and it will halt itself for quite few minutes. So I went out, stretched myself and grabbed a magazine and came in. she is not there I searched for her the whole coach she is no more there. Confused I was about to sit down and the train had already started moving. There she came after washing her face fresh. Her eyes were burning in anger and it is ready to burn me down.

    She went there and in a gusty anger sat down. I was just looking her with nothing but a smile. She showered her anger again, “ what you do not bother whether I want or not right?, you want to have me right?, then have me. We will get down at next station or if u want it here only it is OK but rate is 25,000!!”

    I felt like giving her one slap. What is this with these girls? I said, “I love you” to my closest friend whom I thought I should live my life with and she asked me the same. Now this woman, with whom just out of concern I asked her something and she is showering the same question at me.

   Can’t this female gender think different? Will they all think alike about the male gender? Or is it me that is so special that I look like one looking to catch woman?

   What are these obnoxious women! “Why do I bother?” I said to myself, went back to my seat, and made sure I showed back my anger to her. If she has her anger on male gender, I have my own anger on female gender too.

   “I am revathy I am going to travelling to Madurai. I am coming from Chennai.   From Trichy (where the train is destined) I will be picked to Madurai. I am a call girl, I am 26 years old. Now if u doesn’t want sex from me what else do you want?” She asked.

   I just forced a smile out of corner went and sat before her looked into her and said why you took this as a profession? Will you tell me your story? From where I got guts, I do not know but I asked her this.

   She looked at me like an alien up and down. She now started to smile which literally went into laughter. What is there? A big story huh. I am on my way to be picked up by a party who is my regular customer and I could not say no to it. So here, I am travelling waiting to be picked up and waiting to be fucked like a dog.

  I looked at her and asked; “Now if u don’t want this if u had to sit and cry for this why do you do it?”  “Even now you can drop somewhere else and can try to find a new job or something and don’t give me stupid answers like your family wanted this or your husband forced you into this. If you want to get out of it you can”, I said.

   She laughed again and said, “You live my life then you will understand.” And don’t think I am crying for a life like this. I cried for something else. I was crying for my son who I just left somewhere in an orphan school. I was crying for giving birth to him. I was crying for making his life horrible like this.”

“Now why you would do that?” I asked.

I just know the answer she would give she does not want him to be call girl’s son rather she preferred him to be an orphan.

“Give me one justification why you are doing this”, I asked.

“Give me one justification why you men need women just for sex?" She asked back. "It is the way of my life. I cannot change it. You cannot change it. Will you?"
I sat there in silence.

“See now, you can’t right; that is how life is.”

Now I got irritated, am I actually getting a lecture from a call girl?

By now kumakonam arrived. Some more people got out and the train just emptied more.

   She started her story now, “I am engineering college drop out. I studied in some government school in outskirts of Chennai. Born to a poor family my dad left us for he needed money to drink rather than to take on the family responsibilities. My mother was alone trying her best to take care of my brother and me. She was taking up whatever jobs possible to educate us. My brother died out of some fever when he was ten. My mother was such a beautiful woman and I cannot understand why but she started satisfying men like you for money.

   And with great difficulty, I took up engineering in some college. But I could not cope up there for I could not find any friends there as I am not used to speak English that much. I dropped out from college, which my mother could not take and died soon. I was not sure what to do with life. I could not even understand what life is then.

  I was just 18yrs old, by then people who approached my mother started approaching me.
I tried to run away from them but could not, for to survive I had no hope; so I just submitted to their wills. They just used me and the whole area where I live considered me as a curse. Woman used abusing words on me and men abused me.

  I then became bolder and started making a life and profession out of it. With some contacts, I became an escort and I started choosing my customers and demanded my money.

   And mind this now my customers are high profile ones, all those rich educated individuals with abundance of money in their nest. There is no good in this society, not one of them considered me a woman. They just needed me to satisfy themselves. There were even woman contacts I have.

Now in a closed circuit of high profile rich community I am a well known call girl.”

I interrupted her” how long you think this can continue. Will your beauty stay forever?”

She laughed, “I am not sure of anything. I am just going to live my life the way I get it. I tried to stop this. I tried to move away when I knew I was pregnant. I knew who the father is but I never demanded him."

  "I tried to avoid all this. But do you know what I got? When my son was 7 months inside I was literally raped by a guy to whom I said no. He said, “You are bitch and you should come whenever I say so.”
"Now, you say what I can do?"

"For three years, I hid my son somewhere. Now it is time to leave him for in few years he will start understanding the life his mom lives so I left him in an orphanage.

Tell me, you guy. What should I do?"

The train had passed Thanjavur already and I did not even notice it. ]

  She continued,” I had never faced the parental pampering, never experienced friendship, never experienced trust, never experienced love. Now you say what I should do.
The best choice for me is to die, which I should have done a long back. But I am not ready to it. I don’t have an ambition, a career like you or a life to live for too. What should I do?”
 
I just sat there now in silence in tears, but making sure, I hide them. I do not know what I should say. Should I console her or shout at her. However, will any consoling help her? She would have faced much more than what she narrated me.
 
I just nodded my head and looked at her.
Now the train had reached the Trichy station. With confusion and a heavier heart, I just stood unmoved. She wiped her tears adjusted her makeup and packed up her things.

I know I had to move now. I was going home myself for some other reason, to explain my parents about my own love story.
 
  I am no Hero with magical hands that I can change her life just like that nor speaking with her and making her take a move in just hours of journey but then my heart was heavier and it pained. I still have not spoken a word since she finished talking and looked here and there.

The train stopped I took by bags too looked at her and said, “I am sorry”.
 
She smiled and said,” I see you are in love; be a good kid never hurt the girl you love.”

Kid! Am I looking like a kid to her now? I thought to myself and walked as fast I could, thinking of my cowardly behavior.

Today in a silent evening, her thought came in and I believed I should tell you all about her.

Now what mistake she had made or the society has made, I am not sure off. I am not willing to blame anyone here.

Maybe I could blame myself for leaving her just like that without even attempting to help her.
However, somewhere deep within I started respecting her. I do not know why that respect came in. 

But I do respect her.


"It is my journey
The one that is not chosen
But that is bestowed upon me.
It’s not of will I choose
But it is out of no choice.

A journey, where I was seen as a flesh to be tasted.
Where I felt no love, no caring words, no concern.
For I had no lover,
No friend.
Nor a well wisher.

For some I am a sex toy.
For some a money yielding machine
For some a brutal pleasure giver.
For some I am demon bringing curse upon this society
For some I am shameless creature.

But for none
 I was a human
A human just like you,
With a heart that feels
With a heart that pains.


This journey I traveled,
Had earned me names; bitch, prostitute and call girl.
This journey had earned me
Countless sleepless nights with nothing but tears to accompany and
A heart that is lonely with pain as company.

There she walks accompanied by her heavy heart,
With a fake smile in her face,
To satisfy another heartless body,
Which cares nothing more than her attire and glamor.
For this is the journey that she was bestowed with".




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Comments

  1. a journey from chennai to trichy, a girl actually a cute girl but a call girl who never wish to be so but it happens and most of them call it as fate.. but it is not, she is made a call girl because of society, what a hell life it is.. You and I may be not be a cause but even we leave them just like that after hearing them.. I too had met one in a journey like this and heard her story, a story that made me cry but I couldn't help her to get out of it.. what to do we can just respect them.. loved it.. hmmm, mine is a dream a journey of...

    Someone is Special

    ReplyDelete
  2. the poem is a ornamental addition to the already beautiful article...very nice :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. In general all the stories entwined with call girls are intense.

    It was an interesting read.

    All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have to be appreciative of what you wrote about. It's always pitiful thinking about the lives of sex workers.

    All the best for BAT.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree with Enchanta, this was an intense story, and a train journey that is to forget or remember.. a sad one, yet the journey of so many. interesting read..

    ReplyDelete
  6. I like the poem very much. And a sad train journey to remember! You have woven a social issue into your journey which I must admit, a good job well done.

    Sureindran
    www.sureindran.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. I respect the call girls from the bottom of my heart..!!

    i think they are responsible for girls like us to be free on roads..but wat hurts me is the fact that the society dat she takes care of by ruining her own life and leaving her own children..never helps her at all...in any circumstances..!!!

    thanks for sharing this dear...I am really glad that i met someone today who respects her...!!!


    All the best for BAT..!!!

    Heres mine..!!

    Yamini Meduri - Journey

    ReplyDelete
  8. Call girls are not born by birth...it is the society which creates them and these girls do not have a choice to come out of this profession too..Feel very bad and sad for these girls..The society has to change its way of looking at girls/women...There might be so many "Revathy" amongst us, who are forcefully pushed into such profession...hope the society changes and some light appears at the end of the tunnel!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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