Bring Back Your Touch

 Bring Back Your Touch


Early Sunday morning, I Stepped out of my house and it started to drizzle back. I forgot my umbrella and to make it worse I was wearing that white shirt of 'His'. As usual I was walking and running; a ten minutes walk or 5 minutes run will take me to the nearest MRTS, 'Farrer park.' And today I reached there in five. I had ample time to grab a drink and board that 7.30 train.

I boarded and looked for my corner seat. It was already occupied by some young girl in her high heels and brightly lit lips. Why of all those seats, she has to take the one that was always destined to be mine?” I stared at her but she wasn’t bothered. I finally gave up and found a place to rest myself.

Faces that are new, faces that are routine were all around. Most of them were busy with their phones; ears plugged in with wires, eyes locked on screen, fingers busy rolling. Some were going for their job and some were returning back from job. They are connected only virtually. 

I wonder if he and she are actually texting each other without knowing that they are side by side. 

I sometime feel pity for them; I feel they are lost and lonely. I feel they live in a virtual world. My world once was a lot better. He and I were always glued into each other. His touch never failed to see my goose bumps.

“But is mine any better now?”

As the train took the tunnels and traveled through the bridge I saw that tainted reflection of mine travel along with it into my past.


It was a beautiful Sunday, the dark clouds were veiling the sun and rain gods are showering drizzles. High collared, high booted and all prepared are we. He gave a kiss that made my lips wet. We took on the road; Chennai – Bangalore and then a short ride to 'Skandagiri' for our trekking trip. It was my birthday and he planned it special. We hit the highway and as the Speedo stepped on to 80s and 90s the cool wind started kissing and caressing me. I hugged him, I hugged him tight as if there is no tomorrow. His odor was intoxicating. He looked me in the rear and I blushed.


“Kent ridge station, Please mind the platform gap”.

A 23 min travel into the past was halted as the train reached Kent ridge. This is my routine, my routine schedule, work and life. A ten minutes fast walk from here will take me to the ‘National University Hospital, Singapore’. I work there; I work there as an Emergency physician. I love my profession, but I had never imagined being a ER physician ever.

“Some consider I am a maniac, a depressed illusionist! Some consider I am feeling less and emotionless. ‘She feels only a pulsating heart and sees only ‘Red’, the color of human blood.”

As I, walked out of that train. I could feel something familiar. I could smell that familiar odor. I may not have senses but how can I not feel him? I looked around and searched for him but no sign to be found. I convinced myself that i was my schizophrenic episode . ‘ I held out my hand and walked with him.’

By the time I reached the road, drizzle became heavy showers.
“Madam, do you need an umbrella?” I looked at him, the enthusiast junior doctor working in my hospital. He is big enough for the umbrella he is holding and he doesn't hold a spare.

“You carry on. I will wait for some time.” I decided to let the heavy shower pass and not challenge it.


I was a junior physician working in a corporate hospital in Chennai. The rain has thrashed the roads and left the streets flooded. He came to pick me up. One umbrella will never fit him and me together and so we hugged  each other tight. It is the hug we cared most than the rain. As we walked out, the streets were flooded.

He took me in his arms as if he is carrying his child and walked through the waters. I saw him. I saw just him. I felt happy, safe and comfortable.


That familiar sound of a siren woke me up.

I know something is there, ‘an emergency’. I decided to challenge the shower and started my run. Half way through and across the road I slipped and fell bad. As I was trying to raise myself up, my goose bumps were back. 

“‘The familiar touch’, the touch of that someone I desired forever shivered me and broke me apart. I turned back and it was him. Without uttering a word he carried me and walked. He held me with a sense of warmth and care. I watched him and just him. ‘I felt complete and safe with him.’”

He carried me to my  hospital, made me sit and checked my leg.
“It’s nothing, no sprain. You can go.” “Yeah, he is the doctor now.”

He gave me a paper that is folded and walked back without uttering a word.  Is it my schizophrenic episode again? “I turned back; ‘ooo’, the leg hurts. It is true and happening.”

“Madam it is a trauma, patient is stable. We have started IV, and sent for a CT.”

After settling everything, I sat down and took out his note. The note read“Meet me by ‘Marina bay at 6 P.M. tonight.”

All these years he hasn't changed a bit. His odor, his beard, his warmth, and his touch nothing has changed. He is just the same, the one that I owned, the one that I loved and the one who loved me. Two years has passed and all of a sudden what he is doing here?

You and Me are not possible..
   You and Me are over.
   Will you be happy if I kill my mom and dad and come with you?
   Do you just need me? Or do you Love me?”

I did hurt him. I did hurt him bad. But how can he leave me. How can he leave me in this treacherous world alone? He must have married her by now; the one that I saw with him in papers. She is beautiful, but is she beautiful than me?  Well maybe she is but I don’t care. And what he is doing here now? He has come to prove that he is successful? Or maybe he has come to give me his wedding card. Whatever I am not meeting him anywhere.

The clocked ticked five and my heart started palpitating. I wrote for permission, borrowed lipstick and touch up from the staff nurse and reached the rest room. I loosened my shirt, I loosened my hair. I washed my face and glossed my lips. I looked at me in the mirror. Am I beautiful still? Have I put on weight? I tucked in my belly and I looked OK

As I rushed there were eyes, gazes and muttering around. I barged in took the taxi and rushed to Marina bay.

People had already gathered around the bay, waiting for the light show. I searched and searched but no sign of him there. I sat and watched that light show alone. Cameras and mobile around flashed; maybe they are trying to photograph a sad, lonely and foolish woman.

8 pm, and decided to go. I tucked in my hair and tucked in my shirt. I rose up and turned. He was there smiling at me.

“You haven’t changed a bit la?”

He took me and hugged me as if there is no other day.
He gave me kisses and made my lips melt within him.

You took two years.

“I gave you yourself two years only because you asked for it.”

“I thought you were married.”

“ She is my cousin sister, working with me.”

“I didn’t ask about her.”

“I know you thought about her.”

He kissed me again and the skies were lit up one more time.  He came closer and said ‘ Happy Birthday.’It is my birthday, the one that I had forgotten but he had remembered.

“I love you”, I said.
“I know that” was his reply.

He hugged me tight and carried me in his arms. I watched him and watched only him.
I was content, happy and safe.

I was with him and everything else I least cared. 

“A touch can bring back your senses.
 A touch can heal all that is wounded.
 A touch can make you feel him.
 A touch can bring his love back into your soul.
 A touch made me, ‘His’ again.”

Image courtesy: internet, due courtesy cannot be provided



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